Sorry you're having trouble with it.
Flash VNC is somewhat problematic so I would focus on using the VNC Viewer app.
When you make a connection, can you see anything in the system log, e.g.:
cat /var/log/messages | grep -i weaved
or if you want to see the connection info while it's happening,
tail -f /var/log/messages | grep -i weaved
Does this provide any clues?
You may also have to look directly at the /var/log/messages file.